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  • Tara Darby Rasheta

Feeling Helpless


I received some great advice when I was facing breast cancer.

Let other people know how they can help.

As soon as my diagnosis was made known, I had countless friends, family and acquaintances reaching out and offering to help. But I couldn’t tell them how and that left others feeling helpless. All my energy was being spent navigating my treatment plan. Plus, I never wanted to be a nuisance or cause anyone go out of their way for me. But once I finally felt like I could look a few steps ahead and determine what my needs were, my dear friend Cristina quickly swooped in to save the day. She made it easy for me to answer that question, “How can I help?” by setting up my Go Fund Me and my Sign Up Genius meal delivery schedule. Now when people asked, “What can I do?” I had an easy answer at the ready.


My advice to women facing a health crisis like me, is to employ a friend or loved one to help manage your need requests. Get organized about it and make it simple and streamlined for people to support you.


For those with loved ones battling cancer, just understand that if she’s independent and usually in control, it may be hard for her to ask for help. If she doesn’t tell you how, then take your best guess. Nobody has ever turned down a meal delivery, or care package at their doorstep. Do what you think can make her journey more comfortable. And remember, that the little things can make a big impact.

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